The holidays are a time for reflection-for many of us. I was recruited as a writer, to review the latest and newest, the hottest and most hip things in town. As you have read, I have brought you exclusive CD release reviews and restaurant reviews as well as culture and even convention reviews! However, this month, in the spirit of the season, I decided to put some light on the holidays and what it means to all of us.

My column this month will be two-fold. The first section will touch upon a concept and thus, organization, that has warmed my heart... The Lokahi Giving Project (Lokahi, translated in Hawaiian, means "unity). On one of my former television programs, we covered this organization. Like any story, I learned more about the organization; its roots and its purpose. But unlike any normal story, it hit me hardest where it matters the most; my heart.

As a single mom, I know I have it tough, but there are yet so many others around me who suffer through trials and tribulations I could only contemplate going through. Thus, at a time when the more affluent are opening presents and exchanging recipes as well as gifts, I wanted all of my readers to learn about a wonderful cause. The second part of my column, is more light-hearted, and touches upon the most important people in Hawaii-the readers of my column! Okay, okay, maybe not the MOST important people in Hawaii, but on hawaii.rr.com! Smile! It was a chance to hear what you, my readers, reflected upon when asked about the holidays! But first, a story to tear your heart out.

PART I

Jordin Noa

Jordin Noa, pictured here with mom Nancy Noa, at 3 weeks old.

Imagine coming home from running an errand, after leaving your newborn son with your boyfriend. Suddenly your healthy, beautiful, 3 ½ month old infant son starts to slip in and out of consciousness. To your horror, it happens, as you are completely confused as to why and how it is happening. You rush him to the emergency room, and after numerous tests are done, a doctor pulls you on the side, and tells you that your baby has shaken baby syndrome. How can this be? You wonder. After all, you left him with your boyfriend, the father of this precious little baby. While no one other than the baby himself will ever know exactly what happened, the bottom line is that the day spoken about above, actually happened to now 29-year old Nancy Noa. Jordin's father was arrested for attempted murder and is now doing prison time. Upon realizing her son had been a victim of Shaken Baby Syndrome, from his own father, in mid-January 2002, her life, as she knew it, would never be the same. Doctors told her that Jordin would be a "vegetable" his entire life. It was even suggested that she give up. She was given the option to "pull the plug." Nancy's answer? "No way. No way was I going to give up on my son, when he wasn't close to giving up. He was a fighter."

Then, to make things worse, after her son spent almost two months in the Intensive Care Unit, he was taken from her, for six months as she had to prove to Child Protective Services that she was mentally fit and emotionally stable to care for him. She got him back when he was just shy of turning one year old. Throughout the painful separation, although never doing drugs or even smoking cigarettes, Noa found herself sometimes taking long walks just to ease the pain.

Jordin here, pictured last June.

It became unbearable, and the six months felt like an eternity before getting Jordin back into her custody. "I almost turned to alcohol. Then I thought, I can't do it, I have to be the best I can, for him (Jordin)," said Noa.

Nancy with Jordin, just a few months ago. Jordin is now 5 years old.

Today, Jordin, (who made five in September) needs constant care. Due to the injuries inflicted by the trauma, he is legally blind, has epilepsy, cannot swallow, thus must be fed through a tube in his stomach, and retains only 30% of his brain cells (as compared to a normal brain, and doesn't walk.

Jordin is described by his mom as "her little worm. He's actually .... he's a cheerful baby. He laughs, giggles, laughs. Some days he'll start babbling to you ... and he's very easy to play with. He's a people person." Here, Jordin is pictured when he turned one year old.

He gets around by crawling, and has other mental disabilities that will affect him for his entire life. Mom wakes up at 5:30 am. Each morning and thus begins the daily ritual of feedings (through Jordin's stomach tube) and medications. Nancy's life, as well as Jordin's, has changed forever, and changed without any notice. Unlike being prepared for a disabled child, Noa had a normal baby one day, and the next, had to teach herself how to care for a disabled baby. "Before the injury, my goals were basic: to go to work and make a living. Sometimes I even thought I'd like to stay home and take advantage of being a mom. After the accident, everything I used to have, was lost. I can't go out, to the store, do errands, or take him to the beach, park, pool, he can't do anything normal kids do," said Nancy. "Its hard for me to see other parents take their kids to the park, simple things like that. As a first time parent, you want to be the one to see your child's first steps, hear their first words, I got all of that taken away from me in one second," continued Nancy.

Yet, as many afflictions as Jordin faces, strengthens Nancy because of his own character and strength. "What makes me feel a lot calmer is that he isn't crying about it," said Nancy. And because of what they have been through, Nancy now has a different outlook on life. Her goals, dreams, and ambitions have changed focus and her attention is now towards the future: "I used to think, I'm not going back to school (college) ... I just wanted to get by. Now? I want to better my future. Since he got his childhood taken away from him, I'm going to make the best for his life, and mines," said Nancy. It is now her dream to be educated (all the way - she wants to get her Master's Degree!), and help other parents of children with special needs. She wants to get her Master's degree in Special Education and work in the schools, especially knowing now everything that a parent of a child with special needs, must go through. "I'm trying to make it so that I can help parents out ... so they can relax. Some people who are working with parents of special needs kids just don't have what it takes, the understanding. I want to help them, even if I can help just a few parents, I'm fine," said Nancy.

Nancy enrolled as a first-time college student this past Spring, all due to the sponsorship of a company, due to Lokahi. They sponsored her tuition, and books, and in addition, Jordin and Nancy were given many things from Lokahi which helped them get by a very rough Christmas last year; a new bed for Jordin, some clothes and other necessities for them both. Yet, she still manages without a car, which many of us take for granted. Everywhere she has to go, she uses the bus; with Jordin in his wheelchair and everything else they need to get by. Jordin has definitely proved the doctors wrong, and Nancy reflected on how meaningful that is: "Jordin proved that people have the strength to overcome things, he overcame everything and moved on," said Nancy.

Jordin now attends school, where Nancy said he's happy and although times will be rough, Lokahi made at least one Christmas for him and his mother, a real Christmas. Although her dreams of working in schools may be far away, Nancy knows now the real power of giving, at least, through Lokahi, better than anyone else. "I never thought about going back to school... Now? There are people willing to pay for my school. I never take anything for granted. especially life; if I get an opportunity, I'll run with it. Lokahi helped me fulfill what I had to do for myself and my son. Thank you Lokahi!" said Nancy.

**UPDATE: As if what you read above wasn't enough.. on the day we did our interview, more tragedy hit Nancy. Her father had passed away the night before. I was ready to do this story without her interview, because I couldn't imagine speaking to someone (me) the day after a parent died. However, the fighter she is, she spoke to me and sounded stronger than I did. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Nancy.

The story of the givers: Donors who make a difference

Moanalua High School

Moanalua High students getting ready to volunteer for Lokahi.

Who would have thought that teenagers could teach all of us, a thing or two? Without steady jobs, most of the students at Moanalua High School have single-handedly raised money and awareness for Lokahi, and have brought a lot of attention to themselves ... in the good way of course.

Moanalua High School students at last year's Lokahi drive.

Sherwin Pang, Student Activities Coordinator for Moanalua, has seen the stories and has felt the same heart-twangs when watching Leslie Wilcox's coverage of Lokahi individuals and families. It was his idea to focus in on the Lokahi charities for the entire student body at Moanalua High School. "These are heartwarming stories of all kinds of people: young, old, students, professionals, and even former homeless giving whatever they can. It truly made me realize that there is an organization that genuinely feels that every little bit helps ..." said Pang. He spoke to me about the giving which the school alone had contributed, just with the 2000 students and 180 faculty members; to be able to give the thousands they did, got him motivated and it has been the focus of the holiday season for the past two years at Moanalua High School. "I knew we had to be a part of that," said Pang.

So in my mind, I began to think, and couldn't even think back to, a time where my almamater (in Central Oahu somewhere) ever organized a school wide charitable effort-but my memory gave me no distinct impression of it! How did one begin to get an entire campus to think "Lokahi?" According to Pang, Moanalua always had a pretty good fundraising system in place prior to helping Lokahi. But, as Pang said, "...we gave to a large local/national charity. But we never saw where the money went or if any of that money actually helped people in Hawaii. With Lokahi, every penny is guaranteed to stay in Hawaii." As wonderful as that was, in my mind, I still couldn't fathom an entire campus of 2000 students, being focused in on one cause. But Pang and the staff didn't stop there. Some families, as all of us know, may not even be able to afford to give of themselves, out of their wallets. Pang gave those people, as well as those who opted, a service option. "We added a non-monetary activity where we actually go to the collection day at Ala Moana Shopping Center and also work in the warehouse."

Moanalua High students at work spreading the Lokahi cheer.

But the method upon which Pang and Moanalua collected donations, was the most impressive. Creative, and fun, these competitions made for the most effective fundraising tactics!

Two Moanalua sophomores (pictured in 2005) get in the holiday mood by helping Lokahi decorate with green and red balloons.

First, they have what they call homeroom collection. 90 of Moanalua's homeroom senators pass around a collection envelope around once a week for three weeks. The competition, then, is not only with other homerooms, but against each homeroom's own previous week's collections. The amount collected using this method in 2005 was $2650. Then, they also have what they call a "Penny War." The rules are simple: pennies count as positive points and other currency/coins count as negative points. Each class has a box to fill, and the object is to get the most amount of positive, and not negative points, thus filling your box with pennies, and other class' boxes with anything else BUT pennies. Last year, they collected $1200 this way. On top of volunteering on collection day with Lokahi, those old enough work in the warehouse assisting shopping, identifying, packing, and distributing of all the Lokahi gifts to its intended recipients. To add to their already excellent volunteering duties, this year, they are going to get even MORE creative, and are aiming to make a world record. For what? What else, but Hawaii's very own, Hawaii's favorite, spam musubi! Yes, Moanalua High School will attempt to make a 15'x30' spam musubi, and at press time, had already made all arrangement with the Guinness Book of World Records, and plan to make an early morning spam musubi, measure/record and document it, and then cut the HUGE musubi into regular spam musubi size pieces and sell it during recess. All money made from this sale will also go towards Lokahi.

Pictured here are two Moanalua High students encouraging drivers to donate to Lokahi.

As the leader in school donations for years with Aloha United Way, Moanalua is now topping Hawaii schools in their efforts to help Lokahi. There must be a secret, but Pang said its quite simple. "The REAL secret is that it is a class level competition. Classes earn spirit points for their donations, and the class that donates the most gets the most points, says Pang. He has used creative tactics to get students motivated, and in this case, the tactic, competition, has seemed to work wonders all towards a wonderful cause. In my honest opinion, it seems that Moanalua has just simply got it together. They are no richer than a majority of public schools, yet have set a standard for all of us to follow. Take, for instance the timing of Hurricane Katrina. Without any competitions or contests, the staff and students at Moanalua raised over $4500.00 in just a little over a week (all of which was donated to the American Red Cross). Then, Lokahi started up just a month after, and Moanalua still managed to collect more than $4000.00. All of my holiday hats off to you, Moanalua.

Moanalua High Lokahi volunteers truly know the spirit of the season!

Cherry Castillo and Kokua Nurses

Pictured are some of the Kokua Nurses, including Cherry Castillo (pictured in white/center) as well as Lokahi co-founder, Leslie Wilcox (pictured far right).

I have always given credit to nurses. Not only do they have to deal with sickness and death, but also irate patients, family members, and a lot of red tape. Cherry Castillo and the staff at Kokua Nurses have shown me that their hearts extend out to a lot more than the walls of any hospital. Cherry Castillo was just "one" and in November of 2004, decided to extend the services of what her company could provide, especially towards Lokahi recipients. "Being a home care agency we not only service those who are in need of assistance at home but as part of our mission we also support our community. We wanted to give back to our community and get involved with a charitable organization," said Castillo. So thus, Lokahi, at Kokua Nurses, began.

Just a portion of the gifts that Cherry and her gang at Kokua Nurses collected for Lokahi.

Castillo remembered what it was like a few years back when she started Lokahi efforts at Kokua Nurses. Said Castillo, "What started out to just be a company project became more than I had anticipated. After receiving our first wish list, I felt like I wanted to do more. So I invited other companies that we are affiliated with and asked them to participate. Then I went around our building to tell other companies what Kokua Nurses was doing, showed them the wish list and before I knew it, there were more companies who wanted to make donations."

Another shot of the generosity that one person can help to ignite...

Castillo realized that the spirit of giving, at least with those she was involved with, was more than she had imagined. She was also humbled when she realized that a lot of what was needed, many of us took for granted. "The results were just amazing over the years. The very first wish list that we received, our staff was just moved to see how many people were in need of just the simple and basic necessities like toilet paper, dish soap, baby wipes, diapers etc. Those types of things I think made a lot of people realize how fortunate most of us are, I was truly touched by many people who shared their generosity and willingness to help those in need. Some people even went to the extend of adding a little more to the people that were donating to, just to make it a little more special for them," said Castillo.

Kokua Nurses, friends and families have made it a goal to personalize what they do for Lokahi, this year, according to Castillo, by making gift baskets.

So this year, knowing what they know from being experienced Lokahi givers, Castillo and her crew will work a little harder to make Christmas wishes "sparkle." How? With the help of individuals, co-workers, and of businesses around her.

Fellow nurse Cheryl Burnett and Cherry Castillo spend hours each year for Lokahi efforts.

"This year I wanted to do something different and do a little more for families that are less fortunate. I am planning to make gift baskets for them. For the past couple years I have found that a lot of needy families are wanting necessities, food, household goods. Donations from participating companies, schools, will be greatly appreciated. And I also want participating companies to get more involved I am planning a day where everyone can get together at our office and put these gift baskets together. I think it'll be fun and it'll add a personal touch to it," said an enthusiastic Castillo. With that being said, if she comes knocking on your door, you will be prepared!

From co-founder, KHON2 Anchor, Leslie Wilcox

Stories such as Jordin Noa's is just one of the many which plague Hawaii's less fortunate, and those faced with affliction. If any of us have seen the perils of homelessness, poverty, and grief, it would be someone who, through years, had been the mouth and channel by which we, Hawaii's people, have seen it through, the news. In that perspective, KHON2's co-founder, Leslie Wilcox, one of the most successful anchorwomen in Hawaii's history, was in the perfect position to start Lokahi.

Pictured here are the Lokahi founders, Leslie Wilcox (left) and Mariellen Jones (right). Photo courtesy of Daniel de Castro, PR Director, The Salvation Army

Her co-founder/Lokahi partner, Mariellen Jones (KHON2 employee), was the director of a non-profit social services agency, when she came up with the idea of Lokahi. Together, she and Wilcox came up with a plan and in 1985, (while Wilcox was at KGMB) launched a giving project. Luckily, the project stuck and when Wilcox made the move to KHON2, the idea evolved and expanded, and became what is known today, as Lokahi.

A local boy scouts troop offers their services to Lokahi. Photo courtesy of Daniel de Castro, PR Director, The Salvation Army

What was once a seasonal project has not grown into a year-round effort statewide (Lokahi has a year-round emergency fund which helps people facing eviction or job loss or medical emergencies), where less fortunate individuals, children, and families, benefit from the generosity of Hawaii's people. "For me, Lokahi is year-round work punctuated by entirely uplifting and magical moments when I see donors inspired to help, recipients moved by the thought that strangers care, keiki learning a tradition of giving, other keiki delighted and amazed to receive unexpected holiday gifts..." said Wilcox.

A donor speaks to a Lokahi volunteer at Ala Moana Center. (Photo courtesy of Daniel de Castro, PR Director, The Salvation Army)

Wilcox said that for some Lokahi recipients, Christmas time was the most memorable. When asked how it made a personal difference to her? Wilcox responded, " ... when I meet young adults who tell me that the only Christmas presents they received some years back came from Lokahi." "Most importantly, I have the privilege of seeing many people who were once helped by Lokahi, now proud to help as Lokahi givers," continued Wilcox.

People sometimes watch the news and due to the immediacy of television tend to remember only a few, and specific points about what you've just seen. You do not have a chance to see what it is like behind the scenes. Add Lokahi to that, and you have a very hard-working anchor/reporter who, near the holidays each year, has virtually no time to breathe. When asked of her schedule, Wilcox made me realize that although a majority of the work for Lokahi is noticed in December, the work she, Jones, and others must do start much earlier. "My Lokahi hours amp up during September. By October, I'm working fulltime on Lokahi in addition to my full-time news job. My family is very, very understanding." So what does a reporter do? What can she do, other than show us the perils of Lokahi recipients? The answer: (Hold your breath, you'll get tired just reading what she does) A LOT. Continued Wilcox, "Essentially, my holiday role is to organize, produce and report our television coverage on all newscasts. I'm also involved in setting up the Ala Moana Center Lokahi concert and collection drive on the first Saturday in December, making proposals to donors, working with the Salvation Army and other partners who help us reach statewide, and troubleshooting to stub out any little fires before they grow. I listen hard to what our donors and recipients and social workers are saying. We take pride in keeping overhead costs low and holding our ideals high."

A Lokahi volunteer gathering donations near Ala Moana Center. This year, their annual drive is on December 2nd. Read below to see how you can help after that date. Photo courtesy of Daniel de Castro, PR Director, The Salvation Army

Its always been hard for me to watch others going through grief, when I felt that overwhelmingly, I could not help them all. Wilcox commented on this. "When one looks at all of the tents and tarpaulins of homeless people living on beaches, it's easy to get discouraged. But it's just as easy to get excited about all of the people working hard to help themselves. I see plenty of that. My philosophy is: Nobody can help everybody, but everybody can do something. It's not just material gifts that help struggling Islanders--it's the emotional boost of knowing that other people care enough to go out of their way and help. Giving and receiving strengthen our community, especially when recipients are able to become givers," reflected Wilcox. So as much as I felt, I'm only one, what can I do? The answer was simple-just do it. "[The] best thing about working with Lokahi is the infinite number of ways people show kindness and the ever-changing and interesting ways they help. That includes volunteers putting out tremendous effort. If you ever doubt the power of an individual or a small group to change lives, volunteer for Lokahi. If you ever doubt the ability of children to effect change, spend some at Lokahi and see what they accomplish," said Wilcox.

CONCLUSION:
I know that sometimes, I have it hard. This holiday season personally, will be rough, as finances make my situation as a single mom, almost impossible to exchange gifts and do normal "holiday things." Castillo shared in my sentiments. "Getting involved with the Lokahi Tree has really made feel fortunate. I saw what some people wish for and these are things that most of us take for granted. Being a single parent myself, I know the struggles of trying to make ends meet. I think for the most part thats what drives me to do the Lokahi Tree Project. I'm very thankful that I have my family and I appreciate what I have. Now I want to help to other people who are less fortunate," said Castillo. As I reflected back upon people like Noa, and those that will never make the news, I feel grateful for the little I do have, and know that as long as there are people like Wilcox, Jones, Pang and Moanalua High School, and Castillo, the spirit of giving will exist for me, all year round. Wilcox summed it up for me pretty well when I asked about that unique euphoria experienced, that you can only get when giving, and not receiving. Concluded Wilcox, "I've heard it said that the highest form is giving is to give without the recipient ever knowing where the present came from. If that's true, Hawaii has tens of thousands of people taking part in this highest form of giving. I feel in my heart it is a privilege to give. People who've gone without understand that better than anybody."

PART II

I would like to thank my readers, and this is a wonderful chance to do so, for your support, comments, and suggestions throughout the year. We had a little bit of fun this year and readers got to comment on some holiday cheer, or in some cases, "bah humbugs."

Here are the results:

QUESTION #1: What is your biggest "gift-giving" pet peeve(s)? Survey-takers were given the following choices:

1) "One-up" gift givers. EXAMPLE: You can only afford to get something from Ross' but every year this person gets you something from Neiman Marcus.
2) Not knowing what to get for someone ... spending longer figuring out what to get a person, than you would like.
3) Wrapping the gift itself, and getting it to the person/people/family.
4) Getting a gift you think was recycled (Given to the person who gave it you, and rewrapped!)
5) When someone gives you something and you have nothing to give them...

The most popular response was #2- "Not knowing what to get for someone ... spending longer figuring out what to get a person, than you would like."

QUESTION #2: "What do you look forward to during the holidays the most?" the options were:

1) Spending time with family and friends
2) Eating a LOT of good food!
3) Finding out what Santa brought ... opening gifts
4) Traveling
5) Sights/sounds/smells (lights and displays/songs/baking)
6) Beach/surfing/outdoor activities
7) Watching football on TV.
8) Watching children open gifts on Christmas morning

Can you guess the number one answer? By far, it was #1-spending time with family and friends. Coming in second was #9-watching children open gifts on Christmas morning and a close third was a tie between #5-sights/sounds/smells and #2-eating a lot of good food!

QUESTION #3: Where is your favorite place to Christmas shop? The options were:

1) Pearlridge
2) Waikele
3) Ala Moana
4) Ward Warehouse/Ward Center
5) Kahala Mall
6) Windward Mall
7) Wal-Mart
8) Swap Meet
9) Longs Drugs
10) Online (name your top 3)

The top (it was an exact tie) was #1-Pearlridge, and #10-online. The top online site was ebay.com©.

"Longs Drugs, Pearlridge, Ala Moana, Wal-Mart, and online (Target, Victoria's Secret, and Bath & Body Works). Erika R., Honolulu."

QUESTION #4: What food(s) remind you most of holidays in Hawaii? The choices were:

1) Sashimi/poke/any kind of raw fish
2) Rice
3) Turkey and the traditional "American" fixings (ham, mashed potatoes, etc.)
4) Traditional Hawaiian food (lau lau, poi, lomi salmon, kalua pig, etc.)
5) Other (Please specify)

The most popular answer was, to my surprise (I selected #1 and #4), #3-turkey and all the fixins', and #5-other (top answer was mochi).

Tony Solis, television personality, selected "other," and listed his top three as 1) tamales, 2) dessert-Watergate salad and 3) cheese-ya know ... that big red ball

QUESTION #5: "What event/items trigger your Christmas season and puts you "in the Holiday mood?" Selections below:

1) Kids getting off of school, going on holiday break
2) Winter surf
3) Day after Thanksgiving super sales
4) Christmas decorations up
5) Cold weather
6) Holiday music/media in stores/on radio/on TV
7) Christmas Sales
8) Thanksgiving Day
9) Football bowl games
10) Honolulu City Lights-Parade/ceremony/tree lighting
11) Other (Please specify)

The top answer was #4-christmas decorations up.

Additional Questions
	What is your family's most unique/unusual holiday tradition? "Putting frozen corn straight in the gravy for the turkey." - Cynthia S., Kapolei
	What is your favorite holiday song and why? "'White Christmas' and 'Mele Kalikimaka' ... I put both of them as my favorites because they are both songs I like to sing and they also talk about Christmas here and on the mainland (since I go to the mainland once in awhile and I have family on the mainland." - Eric Kim, Mililani
	What is the most unusual/weird/strangest Christmas gift you've ever received? "A t-shirt with a map of Italy on it??? What the heck-I am not even Italian?" - Kutmaster Spaz (television personality), Kaneohe
	What is the most memorable/meaningful Christmas gift you've ever received? "Ex-boyfriend was going to propose to me on Christmas but he never got to because we broke up on December 13. I found out about his plan to propose after the break up and felt awful. But things weren't working and the proposal couldn't change that. It was a hard time for him but yet he was such a gentleman and an awesome guy. Gave me everything I asked for and expected nothing in return. We are still friends to this day and although a few years have passed, thinking about the whole thing still makes me emotional (but in a good way). That Christmas I learned the true meaning of unconditional love. A bittersweet lesson but something I wouldn't trade for anything. Love doesn't always work how we'd expect, but when it does it can be the most beautiful thing in the world." - Lisa A., Kaneohe

**PART I Mahalos: Thank you to Cherry Castillo, Sherwin Pang, Daniel de Castro, Leslie Wilcox, and Nancy Noa for all your help with this column. PART II Mahalos: Thanks to all those who completed my holiday survey; for taking the time out of your schedules to fill it out and get it back to me so promptly. A special thanks to Eric Kim for help with the survey/formatting/results, and Erika Padilla for giving me inspiration to do a survey! Much mahalos to you both!