Note: The author of this article wishes to remain anonymous. i-SAFE would like to thank him for his contribution. We also want to recognize the Santa Clara County, CA Probation Department and thank Deputy William Bonsall for bringing this story to i-SAFE, so we may share it with the students of Hawaii - and their parents.
You've heard all the warnings about the dangers of the Internet. Your parents may have warned you not to chat with strangers and not to give out personal information online. But are the dangers real or just the paranoia of over-protective parents and adults?
Unfortunately, the dangers are more real than even the most protective adults realize. How do I know? I was an Internet predator. Six years ago, I was arrested and convicted of attempting to meet an underage girl on line. You're probably thinking, "Yeah but that wouldn't happen to me. No way would I meet some creepy old man online. Besides, I'm too smart to fall for that."
The first misconception of that thinking is that the men that are online doing this are not all creepy looking stereotypical perverts that you would recognize right away. Most of them, like myself, are successful, family oriented men that are well respected in their communities. I was a husband, father and church going member of my community. I was the last person anyone would have expected to be involved in something like this. But the Internet is changing society in ways that we have not begun to understand and is allowing people to behave in ways they never dreamed they would.
No kids set out to meet an older man on the Internet. But because of the anonymous and impersonal nature of the Internet, it seems safe. After all, what's the harm in just chatting? The problem is that most kids are vulnerable and can be lured in very easily in spite of how careful and smart you are. It always starts out innocently enough. They may take an interest in your school work. They may take an interest in your problems at home. Maybe you're not getting the attention you need at home or from your friends and they listen to your troubles and offer advice. Over time you let your guard down. They've become your "friend" that you begin to trust with some of your most personal secrets. It's easy to do that on the Internet because it's not "real" and you're just chatting with someone in front of a computer. The problem is that it is real. There is a real person behind that other computer and more often than not, the friendly chat will turn to sex. Even that will start out somewhat innocently, but it will escalate. At some point, you may be asked to meet and you may not see the harm in it since you've been chatting with this person, and have gotten to "know" them "really well." After all, you talk to them about all kinds of things that you couldn't tell even your best friend, so what's the harm in meeting? The answer is simple. There is no harmless reason for an adult to be chatting with kids online so if you are approached online by a stranger tell them NO. So when your parents warn you about the dangers, listen to them. And if you're not going to listen to your parents, then you should certainly listen to my advice. After all, who understands the dangers of the Internet better than me?
About i-SAFE
i-SAFE is a nonprofit foundation whose mission is to educate and empower youth to make their Internet experiences safe and responsible. The goal is to educate students to avoid dangerous, inappropriate, or unlawful online behavior (5 million students and counting!). i-SAFE accomplishes this through dynamic K through 12 curriculum and community-outreach programs to parents, law enforcement, and community leaders.
i-SAFE Inc. is designated a tax-exempt 501(c)(3) charitable organization by the U.S. Internal Revenue Service. To donate or learn more about i-SAFE programs, go to www.isafe.org.
